


Young Ace and the death of self

by Dark_Falcon



Series: One Piece Essays [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Abuse, Character Analysis, Gen, Neglect, Nonfiction, psychological problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:20:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16895937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Falcon/pseuds/Dark_Falcon
Summary: this essay is very old. I'm cross posting it here from tumblr as a back-up in light of recent events. Please note that I'm not a psychologist and what I wrote here about a fictional character may not necessary apply to real people.





	Young Ace and the death of self

**Author's Note:**

> this essay is very old. I'm cross posting it here from tumblr as a back-up in light of recent events. Please note that I'm not a psychologist and what I wrote here about a fictional character may not necessary apply to real people.

Lets talk about the time Ace beaten up some random dudes, who told him he should not be allowed to live because of his father.

I think most people interpret it as simple anger and perhaps a reaction that is overblown, maybe to the point of not being realistic. I think it’s one of the scenes that people use to misinterpret Ace as character, who is (innately) violence prone and lacks control. 

As far as my knowledge goes there is something deeper and darker going on in that moment. And it’s actually very good depiction of certain phenomenon that I will refer (after James Gilligan) as “death of self”.

But first lets talk how positive attitude to oneself, that can be described as self-love, self-respect (self-esteem) or even pride is being build. Positive attitude to oneself is an important personal resource. On this resource we base our actions and  our claims. We can draw from this resource to prevent ourself from breaking in the situations of crisis. Positive attitude towards oneself is an important part of our moral compasses, helping us to shape our choices.   Needless to say lack positive attitude to oneself has great impact on psychological health.

So how this thing is build? Well it grow within relation with other people. In case of a child especially with parents or caretakers. Basically other people in various ways communicate their attitudes to us and it helps us build ourselves. If child is cared for, if child's caretakers express interest in child life and interests and if they communicate than positive attitude to oneself grows. But a person can be also given other resources to build positive attitude to self, those resources can come in form of acknowledgement and social esteem but they can also come in form of being given opportunities like education or work. Increased awareness that comes from education or feeling of accomplishment that comes from work support positive attitude to self. 

Now imagine what kind of positive attitude to self can build a child that is constantly neglected and abandoned? A child that is unwanted and does not even have positive instrumental value? A child that lives in a poverty and is looked at as trash or a vermin by other members of a society? A child that is deprived of education or socially acceptable ways to build self-esteem. A child, for whom most “positive” way of acknowledging their existence is getting beaten by supposed caretaker, who otherwise disappears for prolonged periods of time. Because at least than someone pays them attention. I'm telling you to imagine it, because that is more or less situation little Ace is in even without the burden of Roger being his father. 

So how does that all connect to the death of self you may ask? Well, death of self occurs when a person, who does not the resource of positive attitude to self (self-esteem) undergoes an experience in which this lack is exposed, usually in form of other person/people devaluing them even further. The situation becomes so unbearable that any way of escaping it, eradication the whole thing, becomes acceptable. Usually the extreme or ultimate violence is unleashed (may be/include self-harm). Sounds familiar? (note, that people who undergo death of self and express extreme violence were necessary violent prior).

If a person, who does have resources in form of self esteem is devalued or gravely insulted they can draw from those resources, they can turn away from that, knowing they posses other things or even see themselves as moral victors. But that is not an option for the person who does not have this resource. 

If it wasn't for the neglect Ace underwent as a child touting of other people would not have the same effect on him. Without doubt it still be hurtful, but the effect on his life would be much smaller.

We are talking here about destruction of Aces forming personality. The name death of self is not a coincidence. It feels like death. To the point after which a suicide is just redundant. There is literally no point in killing oneself because one is already dead.  Another thing that may come with death of self is numbness - inability to feel emotions... or even pain. That may or may not be a case with little Ace. I would wager his ability to feel things was limited for some time. 

We don’t know how many time Ace heard about not being allowed to live  and how many how many times he reacted violently. But that does not matter, since once was enough. 

But there is another thing and those are patterns of interpretation and assigning values. Ace has persistently negative patterns of self interpretation, even after his positive attitude to self grows visibly (and yes, it DOES). And there is something else - Ace, after his experience with death of self (which is one of the worse conceivable experience) assigns different value to the situations, in which his loved ones are being devalued, than any of us would. Because of his experience responding to such situation has way higher priority than almost anything else. 

Okay, it’s like one third/of forth what I wanted to write but it seems to be already too long for people want to read it so I maybe finish here.


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